My conversations with God and other spiritual essays for Russell. Part 8

The Sacred part of the town that I thought I would die In.

Essay 1. The father and daughter Conversations at my dads final Resting Place.

Today I paid a visit to the Sacred part of the town I thought I would die in. And I had a father and daughter Conversation At My dads final Resting Place marking his death. Dad your physically gone to a place where there is no return ticket.but I wear your jacket and I come to the Plaque in the Wall that is only yours. Dad and Grandpa your deaths taught me that Love is Stronger than death. Cause the Love I feel for both of you is stronger after Your deaths. Dad and Grandpa you and I have Such Beautiful conversations that transcend Earth and Heaven. The father and daughter Conversation at my dads final Resting Place. Dad your final resting place is near a church I want to go into the church but it's Not open there is a Big cross in front of the bench Iam sitting on and Iam thinking about How Dad After you died I Not only lost you I Lost a big Part of myself too. I Know That Jesus Died on the Cross But I feel within myself I went through a death and rebirth after your death dad. A part of me Died with you. Dad I Pray that you and grandpa do Look after Each other and The Part of me that is Now forever yours. Dad and Grandpa since God called you to his heavenly home I have been trying to work out How to Put myself back together with the Two Most important men in my Life are Not Physically here for Me to Hug. But we can still have Our Conversations that transcend Earth And Heaven. Today Grandpa and dad I sang you songs Cause all Of us Loved music. Dad I hate that There is new music from The band's and singers that you Loved that your not Here to enjoy with me. The father and daughter Conversations at my Dads final resting place. Dad I told you and Grandpa that Iam reading the bible Cause Soo Much has changed. Dad I deeply wish that you Could come down from Heaven for One day or a afternoon cause I want to Hug You and so we can celebrate my 234 days free from self harm Neither of us thought that would Happen. But Dad and Grandpa I got fed up with the Self given headaches now I have faith in good Lord. And Iam growing and changing. The Father and daughter Conversations at my dads final Resting Place. Dad I love you. Dad in our sacred conversation I told you that your wife Is Now In remission from cancer. And that Iam trying my Best to Heal from the Mental and emotional scars from My Experience of having you as my dad and The Scars from your wife. Dad I cried in Our sacred conversation today Because I Told you how much of a deep cut it is to My Heart that you and I never got a final Hug before your Heavenly wings Grew to somewhere with no return. Dad that Last Hug Meant Soo Much to Me But tragically that Was Robbed from me. Cause Out relationship was Soo Broken. I wanted to Use The glue of Love to Patch it back together but you weren't On board. Dad I Wonder do you regret That Now. Cause I have somehow Put myself back together after your death and that Our Bond is forever Beautifully broken. The father and daughter Conversations at his final resting place. This is the town where my real Life horror movie of domestic violence with my Dad happened but Iam Soo grateful that I did Survive the many nights I thought I wouldn't cause I didn't want My dad to Be the reason I gave up. My father and daughter Conversations at my dads final Resting Place