Essay 6. My Letter to The 20 year. Old me.

Iam writing this as the 28 year old Me that. Iam today's this is my Letter to the 20 year old me self to give her and anyone that reads this hope. That you can keep living A long time after. You think you can't. If you don't physically give up. Because they the 20 year old me. Was sitting at a traumatic cross roads. If I was going to see the sunshine the next morning was uncertain I found my own version of hell on Earth in the form of depression and the dark friendly Ghost that has lived in my mind Since I was 13 was with me in my domestic Violence experience with the man that I should be able to trust with my safety And cause my dad was a Ex Prison Officer. I sadly learnt that a uniform doesn't mean a man is a good. Father. Home Life suddenly with a black and violent Tordando of different forms of mental Illness clashing together and the violent Tornado came and Created domestic Violence in The house I would sleep. Then Came the night that forever changed Me when I turned 20. The night. I thought I would be the end Of me. This is the letter to my 20 year old me then my dad's wife and my dad gave me a kitchen knife they stood in front of me And they shouted at me and said if you wrote that note saying that you want out of Earth then we will watch you use the knife to do it. Then the 20 year old me heard a loud. Chorus line of laughter by those who brought me the knife. My letter to the 20 year old self. Iam Soo proud And Grateful that the 20 year old self found a way for her brain. To tune out of the trauma itself and she found A reason To live beyond That Horror filled Moment I thought about How My dad and his wife I knew didn't Want Any physical scars that others can see on me cause they don't want others. To ask Questions but also I was doing unpaid work foodbank giving those who was struggling food. Even in the nightmare at home.i had the golden light of Purpose. So the 20 year old me just waited for the most scary night to be over. My Letter to the 20 year old me. Iam So sorry that dad And his Wife Put you in Domestic Violence situation none of that was your fault. You did not cause. Dad's Ptsd. the. Cross of guilt that dad drilled into you wasnt yours. To carry. My Letter to The 20 year old self. My biggest message to the 20 year old me That the dark storm of domestic Violence will pass you will Pass you will. Find a. Way out when your 21 years old. But sadly you will have to see Your dad in court on your way out.and you will. Have a injured knee. And you will go to grandma's and grandads house after you Leave. Your knee will Heal. My letter to the 20 year old me.iam Soo grateful that the 20 year old me Did not give up when I wanted to or had the chances to. Because I still think that life is worth despite the trauma faced.and was too young to die. I also had my friends. I know that my dad and his would not tell the story in a truthful way so I had too survive to tell the truth. My Letter to The 20 Year old me.my Message to the 20 year old me is that you will Heal. You will. Reach the 9 years since you left. You will have a dog that loves you. You will have a online soul family. And you will find your favourite spiritual Teacher Who will guide you on your path. My Letter to The 20 year old me.