Hello my fellow Senstive hearts this is a brand new song I wrote tonight. It's personal to me about my feelings about my abusive dad. Brad boffey may god rest his soul and his death and how we weren't able to make peace.

Grieving the death of a absuive father is inwardly conflicting

First verse. Dad tonight iam feeling that iam in self reflecting type of thinking and iam feeling sad and Disappointed and frustrated dad that Our Relationship from day one till the last day of your life was sooo full of heartbreak and you bringing Adandonment a wound in me when I was 2 years old. And full of hate bewteen you and my mother. And you both making me and my siblings choose sides. And both of my parents shoved The poison of hate into my senstive heart.now Dad I tried to be a daughter that you could love..and You broke my heart soo early. Dad all I wanted to do was to love you.dad I remember the two years that i was 16 to 17 you and i were close and I believed in the better life dream my dad sold me and I left everything and everyone I knew behind to be closer to my Dad then the dream turned Into a night mare. Dad I want you to know that everyday of the seven years we were enstraged I thought about you. Dad I love you and will forever and I miss you more than you will ever know.but the truth that is even more sad is That now grieving the death of a absuive father is inwardly conflicting. Because I don't wanna hate you dad but I can hate your actions but also acknowledge that you to wad a traumatized man who never got to have the chance to heal that I have now. Grieving the death of a Absuive father is inwardly conflicting.yeah.

2nd verse.dad what I wanted to tell you in life but never could is that yes Time goes on and iam not in your house of violence and trauma anymore but the memories still remain of you pushing me into a wall when I had a knee brace on my injured knee cause I couldn't turn a bathroom tap off correctly. And that dad that you put handcuffs on me cause I was mentally struggling and I was living hour by hour and I was harming myself trying to say to you that I needed help cause no one in the house of hell was listening to me. But most of all dad The memory that still burns in me is you saying to me by text message that your going to take your oldest daughter to court over $320 and scar me mentally with being in a courtroom with my own father. And having you sit there as if it was your home. Grieving the death of a Absuive father is inwardly conflicting.yeah. dad my deepest prayer foe you and us is that he didn't die with any hate torwards me or anyone.yeah.

Chrous.dad even after the trauma of you being in the court room you wanted to hurt me more cause when I had to come back and get my belongings you put my belongings in Purple rubbish bags all across the front lawn for everyone to see including the police men that had to stand there and watch me get my stuff. Greiving the death of a Absuive father is inwardly conflicting. And dad the seven years we were enstraged I had a Dream and a small hope in the deepest part of my heart and soul that some how you would wake up and see that your living without your daughter and we will be able to reconnect and make peace but you were never able to acknowledge what you did wrong as a parent so my deep soul dream had to die. And today Grieving the death of a Absuive father is inwardly conflicting and extra sad cause my Grief after my Dads death is extra heavy cause attached to it has the added weight of Me and my dad never got the chance to make peace together cause dad you chose not to see me Even though we know you were dying.and that was the most painful rejection you have ever given me dad. Grieving the death of a absuive father is inwardly conflicting. Dad now I must face and feel and process the grief and loss And life my life trying my best to find the lord and heal the wounds of Adandonment I feel within me and to heal the trauma you left me. Grieving the death of a absuive father is inwardly conflicting.

3rd verse. Dad I had to get myself some counselling after your death cause my Grief was more painful than I thought it would be before your death. And I recently due to my counsellors advice i went to my Dads final resting place and I told him how I feel so angry at him for his total lack for acknowledgement of his actions. And I cried and I sang to my dad. Grieving the death of a Absuive father is inwardly conflicting.and Dad I dint think my healing process will ever end from the damage you did to me in your life amd the damage to me in your death. Yeah.

Chrousx2.

4th verse.dad I know behind my grief is love. I do feel very proud and hounored to have your jacket and your boxes of your movies. Cause they are a giant comfort to me.grieving the death of a Absuive father is a inwardly conflicting. Yeah. But dad I will love and miss you till we meet again when my life ends. And when I spritually connect with you by singing to you. I pray that your in heaven with grandpa together.but Grieving the death of a absuive father is inwardly conflicting. I wonder if you had met God dad and I wonder if so what would God say to you.grieving the death of a Absuive father is inwardly conflicting. Yeah.

Chrousx2.